I shot myself in the head with an empty gun
And the condition took
Ideas as confetti flew out the other side
Turned to birds
And left me here

Without a net
Without their sing-song voice to call them back
I silently watch the sky

Sometimes they perch tauntingly on my windowsill
And I believe them
Like an empty promise
Sometimes I run to catch them
'Til my legs and lungs burn with the same fire
As if they'd kept their word

They took to freedom like lifers
Ignorant
Of the damage they'd done me
Both now
And before and
Their kindness is often overshadowed
The dream
Their gift
All that I am
Was never enough

I finger the blank pages they left behind
Like open wounds I'm not quite sure
I want to heal
It's so hard to choose a favorite curse
And so I hate them with my love

And with my love
I trace
Eternal circles.